Bad Parenting: A Confessional

You think you know what BPA is? Y’know, the stuff in plastic that is harmful to kids? Well I have a new meaning: Bad Parents Anonymous.

Hi, my name is Kim, and I’m a bad mom.

I find myself guilty of:

  • Going into debt to the swear jar (the words I scream in my head count double since they‘re generally worse)
  • Stepping AROUND a child laying on the floor throwing a tantrum 
  • Being quietly grossed out when I get puke or poop on me 
  • Locking away annoying and/or messy toys so I don’t have to deal with it 
  • Pretending that we don’t have paints for the kids so I don’t have to clean up the mess 
  • Letting the older ones watch movies because I’m too exhausted to play 
  • Flat-out telling the kids they are being annoying and/or obnoxious 
  • Letting the kids annoy the neighbors instead of me, by having them “get their screams out” on the deck 
  • Telling the older ones to not complain to me, and to “figure it out” when they are bickering 
  • Putting the little one in his high chair with some goldfish to keep him contained 
  • Feeding the kids mac & cheese two days in a row just to keep them happy (and fed) 
  • Keeping crayons and paper on the table for bored kids, in hopes that they’ll leave me alone for a minute 
  • Giving the older ones (4 years old) “chores” to help me out 
  • Throwing away some of the gazillion “masterpieces” they have scribbled and proudly presented to me 
  • Enforcing nap/rest time even for the 4 year old, who still often needs it but won’t admit it 
  • Letting the older ones use the Disney Channel on YouTube to keep them busy 
  • Forbidding ANY mention of Justin Bieber, Hannah Montana and/or Alex from Waverly Place 
  • Secretly hoping my ever-foul little one will wait for Daddy to come home to poop to avoid a diaper change 
  • Calling the kids dorks, weirdos, nerds, turds, spazzes, punks, stinkers, and turkeys 
  • Using guilt to drive a lesson home 
  • Quietly mocking and/or judging other parents  
  • Leaving 5 loads of unfolded laundry in baskets with the “screw it” attitude

As I read back on this list I realize that maybe I’m not a bad mom. Maybe I just have a low tolerance for BS. You decide.


5 thoughts on “Bad Parenting: A Confessional

  1. Kim says:

    Haha, this is mostly tongue-in-cheek. I've felt especially unable to put up with bullshit this week…maybe it's the weather. Anyway, I find that my Mom Guilt pops in unexpected places. And I sincerely doubt you are a bad parent. 🙂

  2. Selena says:

    You know, when I think back to how my mother blissfully ignored me most of the day and how much more imaginative I was with my playing (I used to LOVE to break uncooked spaghetti into different sized pieces and make a "family") I really wonder how we got to the point where all the things you mention give us these tinges of guilt, even though we know it's perfectly fine. Plus, you QUIETLY mock other parents. I do it right out loud. Lila's too young to appreciate subtlety.

  3. Christine says:

    Sign me up to the BPA group! I'm guilty of so many of these things! Had to learn to mock other people quietly, though, when my oldest started doing it herself where the much-larger-than-us and quite scary woman could hear…

  4. fickwilliumm says:

    Hi, I'm Fick and I too am a BPA member. Call me what you want though because I have absolutely no intention of changing my evil mama ways! I could try to be perfect but I would still feel guilty for who knows what, it just goes with the territory. Just glad to know I'm not the only one who's a member.


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