30 Days of Truth, Day One

30 Days of Truth

Day 01 β†’ Something you hate about yourself.

Of course they would start with a hard one.  But, I guess if it was “easy,” there wouldn’t be much point to the challenge.  My first thought upon seeing today’s question was, “I have to pick just one thing???”  No, not really.

Let’s be honest, here.  I’m a woman; we inherently hate ourselves for what we look like, what we don’t look like, what we used to look like and what we think we should look like.  Among other things. 

Something that I hate about myself is that I overthink things.  It’s annoying to others (mainly my husband, I think) and to me (when I realize I’m doing it). 

I get into a situation and tend to mull it over, rant about it, obsess over it, and then beat it to death with a stick, way beyond the point of being objective anymore.  For example, if I was having problems with a coworker at my old job (I’m too new at my new job, and most of the time I work alone), I would think about what I could say, should say, how I could’ve done it differently, what a pain in the ass this person is being, etc.  A lot of the time it’s a miscommunication and I should just shut up about it until I talk to the person again. 

Another example:  when our son was in the NICU just after he was born, I obsessed over each moment of his birth and and the moments directly afterward to somehow figure out if I had done something wrong to cause his respiratory distress.  Obviously, it was out of my control, but I still had to find fault. I obsessed over his treatment in the NICU those first days of his life and tried to make sure that whatever could be done was being done.  Instead of trusting the nurses and doctors to do their jobs.  Gabe is perfectly perfect now.  Despite being told that he would, in fact, be fine, I overthought it ALL, nearly driving my husband and myself crazy.

So there it is, this truth is out there for the world to see…hopefully that fact will encourage me to work on it.  Maybe.  Let me think about it for a while.  πŸ™‚

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